Heidi Ho and Ironman meet Gladys
My daughter is tutoring young Hong Kong kids this summer. Last month a new student entered the classroom, owlish and pensive. She bent down, smiled and asked his name.
“Ironman,” he replied.
Okay. Ironman it is. And your sister? Referring to the even younger girl beside him.
“I’m Boo Boo.”
Ironman and Boo Boo. Now, you might assume these are the temporary, made-up monikers of tiny tots who will soon assume more standard English names. But in Hong Kong, where everyone gets to choose their own English name, it is quite possible that Ironman and Boo Boo will choose to become Video and Spatula. Or Circle and Nearly.
This is one of the endearing features of Hong Kong society. Your Chinese name is carefully chosen by your grandparents, and when translated to English has an exotic and mystical quality: Bright Spring; Small Peace. But your English name can be all yours.
So why not be Horatio? Or Purple? Or Value?
Over the years I have met a Thousand, a Million (but no Billions yet). A Photon and an Atom.
At a staff event a few years back, a young lady sauntered up to me, extended her hand and said, “I am woman.”
I did not ask to hear her roar. But I did receive her business card, which indicated that she is indeed, Woman Wu. I prefer that name to the one chosen by my wife’s former colleague: Fishman. Fishman is also a woman.
I have met a Heidi Ho and an Ivan Ho. An Egg. A 50-year-old woman who inexplicably chose the name Porno. I do not know why. There are variations on a theme: Vincy, Wincy, Winnie and Winky. Making up your own name is not only accepted, it is preferred. Even if you might not be able to pronounce it yourself. I’m talking to you, Edthancy.
You can be pretty much any fruit you choose: Orange, Strawberry, Cherry, and Apple, long before Gwyneth thought it up. Or you might prefer old-fashioned names that haven’t been common in the West for decades: Prudence, Gladys, Bernice, Bertha.
This is the beauty of it: you are not restricted by the current trends, customs or preferences of native English speakers, where it seems that out of nowhere, all babies have the same name. This year it’s Emma or Noah. A few years ago it was Isabella or Alexandra or Zachary.
Ha! In Hong Kong you can be Apollo if you wish, and no one will look at you funny. Want to be an adverb? Go for it. I was helped by a very nice young man in an appliance store named Thickest. I didn’t ask how he got the name. I just thought it was cool that Thickest helped me find a microwave oven.
So Ironman and Boo Boo are free to stick with those names, or perhaps in a few years a young man, with years of study behind him, will extend his hand to me and say, in perfect English, “Hi, I’m Thor.” Or the young man might have decided he likes the name Ironman after all.
petermaize 